They say it takes two to tango and, in a divorce, you don’t want to get caught up in the bad behavior dance. Just because your spouse is talking to the kids when he shouldn’t, or dating when she shouldn’t, doesn’t mean you should do the same. Because in a divorce, where it’s a he said/she said argument on many if not most subjects at issue, how you behave during the divorce can have an impact on the outcome.
It is tempting to always want to point out what your spouse is doing wrong. It’s tempting to get mired in the everyday drain that is placed upon you having to deal with someone who isn’t thinking about the children, isn’t thinking about the future, and isn’t thinking about what’s in anyone’s interest but his or her own. And yet, stooping to that level yourself will not only not make you feel better, it can make you look bad to the court.
Judges are in the business of comparing the behaviors of two adverse parties. When both husband and wife act despicably, the court may punish you both, when punishment is exactly what you want to avoid. So be the bigger person. Do the right thing. Rise above what your soon-to-be-ex is throwing at you. You are the best asset in your divorce. You are you own best advocate. All of the great lawyering in the world can’t help bad behavior. Do yourself a favor: Don’t fight for the title of worst spouse; act with integrity and dignity and you can never lose.
For any family law issues, the attorneys at Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C. are available.