The Divorce vs. The Breaking-Up

By Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C. of Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C. posted in Divorce on Monday, August 20, 2012.

By Allison Schreiber Lee

People who are going through a divorce come to the realization at some point that getting divorced and breaking up with your ex are two different things. There is a difference between ending your marriage, and ending your connection with someone. Some people “break up” before they get divorced or even separate. Some people go years after a divorce before finally coming to the conclusion that their ex-spouse should no longer be a factor in decisions they make in their lives (notwithstanding those decisions involving the children that need both parents’ input).

For example, I know a couple where the husband emotionally left the marriage more than a year before he actually moved out. When they got divorced, it was easier for him to “move on” because he had not been a real part of the marriage for quite some time. He had “broken up” with his wife even while they were actually still married. His wife was a different matter. Even after they were divorced, she and her ex-husband remained friendly, and because she had, for more than a decade, consulted with him before making decisions or called him when something funny/sad/interesting occurred, it took her much longer to break ties with her ex-husband and “break up” with him.

It is common in a divorce for one person to emotionally leave the marriage first. And for the person who is still in the marriage, it can be harder for them to “break up” with their ex-spouse. The shock of separating your lives from each other during the divorce takes its toll and the aftermath of your daily life not involving that other person is a difficult process to get through; but after all of that, after the silence settles in and you realize that you are on your own again, you also have the chance to take complete ownership of your life. At Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C. our family law attorneys understand not just the law but the emotions behind each divorce. Whether you are the partner who left the marriage or you are the one feeling left behind, our attorneys can assist you so that when the you final “break up” with your ex occurs you can use our experience to assist in distinguishing between the effects of “break up” and the legal process of ending your marriage, the “divorce.”

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Allison Schreiber Lee

Allison Schreiber Lee

Allison Schreiber Lee is a seasoned trial attorney and has been lead counsel in more than 40 jury trials. In 2011, Ms. Schreiber Lee was co-lead counsel in one of the longest jury trials in the history of the City of St. Louis. Ms. Lee has also tried more than 100 non-jury trials to verdict, including representation in divorce and modification hearings.
Allison Schreiber Lee

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