The death of a spouse brings with it significant legal and financial consequences for both the grieving spouse and the family’s children. Surviving legally dependent children are entitled to social security benefits after a parent’s death. These social security benefits, however, can be altered by the choices the surviving spouse makes. If you have lost a spouse and choose to remarry and you want your new spouse to adopt your children, it’s important to understand how the social security benefits will be affected.
What Happens to Social Security Benefits When a Stepparent Adopts Your Child?
The decision to have your new spouse legally adopt your child comes with financial implications. Under Missouri law, as soon as a child is adopted by a stepparent, the child becomes the legal child of that stepparent and is no longer the legal child of their deceased parent. This means that any social security benefits your child receives from their deceased parent immediately stop.
Alternatives to Adoption That Preserve Social Security Benefits
If your financial health depends upon the social security benefits but you want to take further steps to integrate your new spouse as a legal parent in your children’s lives, you have some options short of adoption.
You can create a durable power of attorney which allows a stepparent to make certain legal decisions in your absence. Executing this document does not make your child the legal child of your new spouse, so your child will continue to receive social security benefits from their deceased parent. A power of attorney is only valid for one year, so you would need to remember to re-draft and sign the document every year.
You can also ask a court to change your children’s last name so that they have the same last name as your spouse. Doing so can strengthen the family bond without terminating the social security benefit. These alternatives may be worth considering, depending on your individual family needs.
How to Decide What’s Best for Your Family
This does not mean you should never have your new spouse adopt your child, and there is no right or wrong choice here. What’s important is to weigh the pros and cons of adoption and its effects. Speaking with an adoption or estate planning attorney about these complex issues can help guide you towards what’s best for you and your family.
*The author is grateful for the assistance of Caroline Vaaler, Saint Louis University School of Law student, anticipated graduation May 2026, in the preparation of this article.
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