The decision to divorce your spouse is a momentous one. Before the first meeting with a lawyer, you might discuss your plan with numerous people in your circle—parents, siblings, clergy, and therapists, of course, but sometimes also family, neighbors, even your manicurist.
Obtaining sound advice is key when facing such an important life event as long as you know whose advice you should rely upon in making decisions related to your divorce and whose you should not.
Well-Meaning Friends and Family May Not Have the Best Advice
Some people—your mother, your BFF, your hairdresser—will support you whether you are right or wrong. These well-intended people see their role as taking your view of the situation exclusively. If you say your spouse is 99% at fault, these supporters will insist it’s really 110%.
How Trusted Professional Advisors Can Help (and Where Their Limits Are)
You may also talk to your trusted professional advisors–therapist, minister, financial advisor–who will help you with the issues surrounding your divorce: mental health, spiritual support, investments and expenses. While they can provide you with useful information and advice, they are not best situated to tell you how to resolve your divorce.
Why Only an Experienced Family Law Attorney Can Give You Legal Advice
All these advisors are valuable, but only an attorney well-versed in family law will have the knowledge and experience to give you realistic advice. Cousin Suzy may have gotten a $5,000 monthly support award, or your neighbor’s daughter may have gotten sole legal custody of her children, but every fact situation is different, and others’ results likely bear little resemblance to yours.
The Right Team Can Make Your Divorce Easier
You benefit greatly by working with the professionals you have hired to assist with your mental health, religious, and financial needs. Each has specific expertise that will keep you centered through what can often be a long and painful process. Your friends and family also have important roles to play, helping to keep your spirits up as your life is temporarily upended.
The Bottom Line: Listen to Your Divorce Attorney
But here is my key message: Don’t rely upon non-lawyers to give you legal advice. Instead, work with a lawyer you trust, respond to their requests promptly, provide them with the information they need, always ask questions, and always listen carefully to the advice they provide.
A good lawyer will likely tell you some things you would rather not hear: sole custody is rare; your spouse’s infidelity may have a smaller impact on the outcome than you anticipated; going to trial is expensive. They are not doing this as a show of disloyalty. Rather, lawyers are agents of reality, trained professionals whose job is to help you understand what is a realistic outcome, and not simply the outcome you would like to see happen.
The family law attorneys at Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal have decades of experience in dealing with a wide range of divorce issues and can help you achieve the best outcome for you and your family.
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