Sometimes it takes a crisis to force two people who have a hard time co-parenting to actually co-parent. Take, for example, the news that several school districts around St. Louis wrote to the Prosecuting Attorney about the grand jury decision in the Ferguson shooting, asking him to delay providing the grand jury’s decision until after school hours. The school districts are concerned about children getting home safely; so, it seems, are some parents.
A friend of mine called me the other day to tell me that she reached out to her ex-husband to discuss a plan for getting their children in case the Ferguson grand jury decision came down during school hours and school dismissed early. They talked about staying in touch with each other via text, alerting the other parent if either got word of early dismissal, and picking up the children from school without regard to whose “day” this fell on. I told my friend I applauded her reaching out since I know that it has been difficult for the two of them to talk, given some of the contentious issues in their divorce. She replied that her focus at that moment was on her kids and not on what had happened in the past or what may happen in the future.
That’s a good lesson for all who struggle at times with co-parenting. Sure, there are times and places to litigate issues of custody and support, emergencies where a parent is unable or unwilling to care for a child, those parents who need supervision with their children, and even those who are absent completely from their children’s lives. But for the majority of divorced parents, focusing on the task at hand–keeping your children safe—eliminates any need for a discussion of past conflicts or current disagreements. Smart parents recognize that resolving an immediate problem is not only in your children’s best interest, but may help communication between the parents now and in the future.
For communication between co-parents and other family law advice, the family law attorneys at Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, P.C. can assist you.
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