When you think about how stressful divorce is for adults, you can also imagine how difficult it is for children. Frequently school is their only place of solace. Our advice to parents: for the sake of your children, do not create problems for them at school. How to do that effectively? Here are some tips:
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Make sure that the school is aware of the divorce so that they can tell you whether they notice any behavioral changes with your child. However, under no circumstances should you provide the school with all the gory details. You should also refrain from talking negatively about the other parent at the school.
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When filling out contact information at school, make sure that both parents’ names, addresses and phone numbers are included in the paperwork. It is not fair for the children if their friends can’t find them at the other parent’s house. It is also not fair for the other parent to be kept in the dark about activities at school.
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Don’t cause problems at pick up. If it is not your scheduled custody time then don’t pick up your children.
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When you attend school activities be civil to your spouse. It is bad enough when there is fighting at home. Do not embarrass your children at school.
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When you go to parent teacher meetings, go alone and without your significant other. This will only upset your spouse.
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Remember that both parents are entitled to school records so do not try to thwart the rights of your spouse in accessing those records. Whenever possible, you should cc your spouse on any email communication with the school so that you are both informed with the same information.
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If you have a dispute regarding the activities before, during or after school, find a place to resolve these disputes other than at the school. The school should not be brought into the middle of your divorce.
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Make sure that you communicate with your spouse so that your child has what they need for school including supplies, athletic gear and homework. In order for your children to succeed they need to have the support and cooperation of both parents. If it is your weekend, you are responsible for your children completing their homework neatly and completely.
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Try to set up similar activity, homework, bedtime schedules at both homes so that the children have consistently in what is expected of them.
Raising successful and confident children should be the goal of all parents- whether or not you are going through the divorce process.
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